Moving Forward by Grace: Change, Healing, and Hope for the Long Haul

Rev. Michele Slott

Early Warning Signs

Everything went dark. When I opened my eyes, I was on the classroom floor with my English teacher looking down at me. As a healthy, busy high school senior, the seizure shocked me. The last thing I remembered was hitting my “funny bone” and straightening my arm to ease the pain. Our family doctor sent my mother and me to a counselor in a nearby town. I went once, and the advice was basically to care less. I did not find that terribly helpful (and thankfully, I never had a seizure again, though it was a warning sign).

A Different Kind of Wake-Up Call

Decades later, as a wife, mother, and professional, I caught myself standing at the microwave on a Saturday morning mentally attacking myself. Then I sensed a clear interruption: “Don’t let the past define you. Let me define you. Let me tell you who you are.” I turned to my devotional and, for weeks, felt God calling me out of destructive thinking.

About four years later, I crashed again. One day I lay on the couch with my face buried in a cushion and a pillow over my head, unable to speak even to my husband and children.

Career pressure, long hours, commuting, family responsibilities, financial strain, and old unhealthy expectations had all piled up at once. But I remembered my earlier experience with God’s reassurance. I knew the pain I was experiencing was not what God wanted for me.

I went to see my primary care doctor, who started me on anti-anxiety medication and counseling (which was much more helpful than that first session as a teenager). Both therapies helped greatly, and over time I built healthier rhythms and greater self-awareness. Eventually, I was able to stop treatment and did well for quite a while.

When the Ground Shifted Again

Then came perimenopause.

At first, the changes were subtle, but soon I was waking in the night drenched in sweat and flooded with toxic thoughts.

With medical guidance, I tried hormone therapy, supplements, and diet and lifestyle changes. It took trial and error, but things eventually stabilized once again.

Trauma and Recovery

Then our 19-year-old son went out on a motorcycle ride and disappeared. He was found alive the next morning after a devastating accident and was flown out of state for treatment of a spinal cord injury. I left with him immediately and, through a series of mishaps, abruptly stopped some medications for months. Strangely, my body did not seem to miss them.

When I got home and told my doctor I still felt “okay,” she explained that trauma can delay the body’s response. She warned that once normal life resumed, that might change.

She was right. My sleep fell apart, brain fog set in, my energy dropped, and even focus became difficult. With a family history of dementia and evidence linking poor sleep to those diseases, I knew I needed help.

I returned to my doctor, adjusted treatment for this stage of life, and gradually stabilized yet again. I sleep better now. I dance in the kitchen again. I laugh again.

What I've Learned

What I have learned:

• Body, mind, hormones, and trauma are deeply connected, so pay attention and seek help sooner rather than later.
• Be open to new tools, from counseling to medical testing to lifestyle changes. God can meet us in those steps. I recently met with a certified Menopause Doula and learned more about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which was interesting and helpful.
• Benefits programs can point us in the right direction and even sometimes help make care affordable. You can learn more about options in the Dakotas Conference at this link or in the Minnesota Conference here.

Today, Michele Slott is an ordained elder in the UMC. She is the Higher Ground Program Coordinator for the Dakotas Conference and serves ¾ time as the pastor of Open Heart UMC in Rapid City, South Dakota. She lives with her husband Rodger, adult son Dylan, and two dogs, while their eldest son Cayden lives and works in the northern Black Hills.