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Understanding loss, honesty, and hearing God: Rev. Paul Budd's ministry journey

By: Doreen Gosmire, director of communications, Dakotas UMC

Paul Budd

Rev. Paul Budd. Photo courtesy of Rev. Budd.

Honesty, understanding loss, and hearing God are critical aspects of Rev. Paul Budd's ministry journey. "We all have losses. We need to understand those losses. When someone approaches me, I say, 'How is it going?" They say, 'Well, my cat died, and it isn't a big deal.' I say, 'No, it is not just a cat.' We need to talk and learn so much. Folks are willing to be honest, especially as we age, and we are more willing to hear God," said Rev. Paul Budd, Dakotas Conference elder. 

Rev. Paul Budd has been a chaplain at John Knox Village, a retirement community in Lee's Summit, Missouri, for 40 years.

He grew up around Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and attended a non-denominational church. "It was fundamental. I was never comfortable there, but you're brought up in it. You stay in it for a while," said Rev. Budd. 

He found his home in the Wesleyan tradition from his father-in-law, Rev. Harold Fitch. "I decided I needed to go the United Methodist route. I hadn't planned on seminary. Suddenly, there was an opening in Tolstoy and Bowdle. They had my name because I had been helping my father-in-law, Harold Fitch, in Sturgis, South Dakota. They asked, 'Would you come and be a local pastor?' I did that for three years," said Pastor Paul. "I knew then the United Methodist system was a fit for me. I decided then that I needed to go to seminary."

Budd headed to St. Paul Theological Seminary in Kansas City. "I really appreciate Saint Paul. They helped you find your direction and where you're most comfortable. I realized the Wesleyan tradition was my personality because I asked too many questions. You must find where your personality fits," shared Pastor Paul. 

After completing seminary, Pastor Paul became a chaplain at John Knox Village. "I went to school here and then just felt like John Knox Village was the place to be. I have been here since I graduated from seminary," said Pastor Paul. "I missed the local church, yet this felt like a good fit for me."

John Knox Village is a non-denominational, large community composed of independent, assisted living, and skilled care. "It was formed 50 years ago. They have their ambulance crew. There are three or four restaurants. It is in a suburb of Kansas City," describes Pastor Paul. 

Expanded opportunities opened along his ministry journey. Weekly, Pastor Paul writes an article for the paper. "They have a weekly paper at John Knox Village. They told me I had to write an article, and I found out people kind of like my writing. I don't know if that would have happened anywhere else. I'm not sure they ever did catch on to the dry humor of the Dakotas. Some got it, some didn't. I've never changed in that regard."

At various times throughout his ministry, Rev. Budd has served congregations as they were experiencing pastoral changes or other transitions. "I live in an area where there are several United Methodist churches. We are right near a historic church. I have served there several times in different capacities, helping with pastoral changes and when the pastor was on leave," he said.  "I don't get to do baptisms or confirmation, but I did a lot of memorials." 

A ministry of loss is how Pastor Paul describes his journey. "It is a lot of the ministry of loss and understanding loss. The minute somebody moves in, they are suffering or dealing with a loss because they moved. Then there are the losses of pets—the loss of physical things that go along with moving.  As well as loss of spouses and driving, just all kinds of losses," explains Pastor Paul. "Much of my ministry has been naming the losses and helping deal with that loss."

Rev. Budd has also served as a hospice chaplain. "It was very fulfilling. But I'm glad I only had to do that for a while because working with hospice really pulls on your stuff. It is difficult dealing with that kind of loss all the time," he said.

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A photo of The Meadows at John Knox Village. Photo from Facebook.

The changing context and culture of the world has challenged the church. "We have no idea where the spirituality is headed. Just like in the local church and society, our village has changed. We used to have Sunday night and Wednesday night services, but we don't have those anymore; people don't come out. We have had to find another aspect of meeting a person's spiritual needs. Now, we have a lot of people moving in now that don't have a church affiliation. Non-denominational fits for them. I've done a lot of courses on mindfulness, biases, and how to deal with race issues and things like that. People have appreciated that that's where their spiritual life is: learning and expanding their minds and experiences. It is another world now."

The funeral home near John Knox Village has called on Pastor Paul to minister to people not affiliated with a church. He has enjoyed ministering to families and others regardless of their faith. He recalls when the activities director reached out to him when she had nowhere else to turn. 

"I think one of my best compliments was from an activity director. One day she called, 'Paul, I don't know what I need, but I have a situation. We have a resident who's. Son died probably because of drugs. He died, but we need to do something, but we don't know what we need to do. He wasn't getting along with his kids well because he had issues. One of the sons is gay and married. So, we need somebody to bring all this together.' I could do that because of my background at Saint Paul and some other stuff—United Methodism, which accepts all folks and meets them where they are."

Another memory that stands out for Pastor Paul is ministering to people who are at their most sincere being or highest level of authenticity. He gives an example of a woman who played the organ at chapel services.

"There was this couple, and we didn't get along well at first. She was very United Methodist, but they were more conservative. I don't think they cared for me at first, but then, over the years, I was able to be with them on their journey.  He went into Alzheimer's, and she needed to change directions and became an organist in our chapel. One day, she just said, "What are you doing here? You could be at First Church. You are good.' I responded, 'Well, first, why don't you deserve the best? And, secondly, to be so honest, we don't have to worry about what people think about us anymore.'  As we get older, we become more honest because all our pretenses disappear. We can deal with losses upfront. When we get honest, we may hear what God might have needed us to hear."

As a chaplain, people are more willing to be honest. Pastor Paul states that people do not see him as a threat. People know the pastor of their church as someone who might hold them to a higher standard and will also be presiding over their funeral. They are willing to ask questions of a chaplain. "The downside is that you don't get any credit. You walk with people sometimes for months or years, and then you sit in the back row during the funeral," said Pastor Paul. 

In retirement, Rev. Budd will continue to live in the same area. He currently works about 20 hours a week at John Knox Village, and his son and grandchildren live in the area.

"We get to do all the stuff with grandkids. I have three grandkids. I take them to music, soccer practice, and all the other stuff. We have been very fortunate to be around family, which you often don't get because they have to move all the time," said Pastor Paul. 

He hopes to continue his ministry at John Knox Village and maybe move in one day. 

UMC

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